Sunday, October 9, 2011

Sleeping is overrated

I suppose I ought to write something.

This isn't getting easier.  In fact, it's getting harder.  Every day, I'm one step closer to just giving up and quitting and getting on the next plane to the States.  Yesterday, I convinced both of my parents that I was quitting.  Only after a lot of talking to a certain very good friend of mine was I willing to stay.  Even then, maybe for just a semester.  I'm not getting my Ph.D. out here, that's for damn sure.  At best, I leave with my Master's.  At worst, I leave with a semester of study at the University of Innsbruck under my belt.  Not bad, probably.  But in all honesty, I want to finish what I start.

Every day I wake up hating this.  I hate being alone, I hate being so far from everyone I care about, and I hate what I've gotten myself into.  The loneliness is crippling.  The feeling in my stomach is crippling.  It's like a constant knot of pain and anxiety.  It's no fun.

But here's some cool stuff.  This past week was "Woche der Physik," or Week of Physics.  I went around and took videos of some of the better experiments that we had to show the general public.  (The general public speaks German.  I do not.)  Two of them are below.  I'll load more later.

Here's a giant soap bubble window:

I wish I remembered the name of the guy in the video, but he's a nice guy.  We were playing with it after we set it up.  I later learned how to make awesome massive bubbles with it--someone took a picture of me doing it, so maybe if I find it I'll post it later. That was a lot of fun, and I met a lot of people when I set it up and such.
A demonstration of gravity--the coin-sucker:

The kids were hilarious on this one.  One of them is the hand you see at the end reaching down into the abyss.  I wonder how much money was put into that thing over the course of the week...certainly enough that I could use it...

I miss my old life and want it back, but that's just not possible right now.

1 comment:

  1. I'm really sorry you're struggling so much. You can make it the year, I know you can. I promise it will get easier and remember that if I could do it, you definitely can. I know the language barrier makes it worse, but the crippling loneliness is universal... it just takes time, unfortunately.